Why We Love The People Who Don't Give Us Attention

image: fontsinuse.com

I've got an interesting theory. No, it's not about Dasuki and the $2 billion. No, it's not about Buhari and PDP. No, it's not about CBN and the dollar rate. In fact, it's not about anything you would you expect. 

My interesting theory has its roots in heartbreaks. It is the cause of most heartbreaks. It is why we love and are not loved back. It is why we are shown the most care by the people we avoid and are avoided by the people we most crave attention of. 

The crudest form of this theory dates back to a few centuries before Christ. Documented by Plato. Propounded by Socrates that it is what we are denied we most long for. He argued that a particular Greek god that demanded the most beautiful lady in the land be given to him as a priestess must be ugly. That the only reason he would be very particular about having the most beautiful is because it is the one thing he greatly longs for and thus something he lacks. It seemed he annoyed the priests and elders with this and his other theories. They sentenced him to death by poisoning. But his theories have been updated numerous times and patched for this modern times. 

You will hear people talk about short men mostly marrying tall women. Fat women marrying thin men. Charcoal black men marrying yellow women. Easy and weak willed men marrying difficult and strong willed women. That people don't look for what they already have in others.

Today, I have come with another modified version. And it is that people don't die for the people who would die for them. Politicians will never die for the people who die for them. Only soldiers die for a fellow soldier and can be sure the reverse was possible, but it's done majorly out of a sense of duty and not love. Even in a small nuclear family, love is never given back in the same amount. The most loved is often the most irresponsible and non-responsive to that love. For some baffling reason we show care more towards the very people who don't hide how little they care about us. 

It's the main cause of heartbreaks. One person loves another too much, and as is the usual case, the other is not aware or chooses not to care. Then if the one person is bold and transparent about his non-mutual love, one of two things happen: out of pity the other conditions herself to love back or out of frustration she acquires a hatred as intense as his love. 

Remember, this is an interesting theory. One against love. That people won't love you if they can help it, and if they can it is because they want to be very kind to you. The choice of who you fall in love with is outside your control and the moment it falls within your control it's because you are trying to help the object of your love. 

There are exceptions. The very lucky ones.