Why I Have Had To Shutdown My Social Life

There's always a compromise. You can't have it all.

A lot of people think there should be a balance between your work life and social life. And that it's terrible to have no friends because of work. And they are completely right. Where the misunderstanding arises is in where that balance lies and how many friends is enough.

For me, the balance lies at close to no social life. Social life has never done me much good and zaps me of energy I can better deploy on something I will be more proud of. And I am perfectly okay with having one or two friends. Not that I don't trust people or like my privacy. I just find it a lot of work having close friends -- they get worried when you don't call, they are worried you don't visit, they are worried you don't ask for their help, they are worried you don't talk much. So it's no small task to keep them from worrying. 

That I gain little from social activities or enjoy life more with very few friends (whom I seldom call or visit) are not the reason I shutdown my social life. It's because I have successfully turn my work to art. I have managed to find what I love doing and I'm making a living from it. It's very difficult to pull myself away from doing what I enjoy and on top of it, I am always made to play the role of a saviour. Imagine having to beg a prospective client that you can't take on his project and he's now the trying to convince you that any terms you give are okay by him and that you are his only hope. It happens to me too often these days, and being my softy self I take up the project and kill every social plan I have for the month. It's so bad I am often scared of picking phone calls.

So my social life is experiencing a natural death. I use up all my free time to get much needed sleep and rest. Thanks to the amazing community of my blog readers and e-friends, I also get the networking benefit social events give. And Google never stops sending business contacts my way. Almost everyday, someone contacts me after having being directed to me by Google. There are many mails I am yet to reply. I have the bad habit of shutting down when under pressure. I don't know where to start the replies from and where to get the time. I just hope I don't turn potential friends to enemies. No one like to be snubbed and that's the feeling you get when you send someone an email and he doesn't reply.

I have indeliberately become an artist. Consumed by my art. Every work I do take between hours to weeks to complete. I don't have a standard method, I simply have a high taste and keep working till I get that right solution. I can do a project three different times/ways just to get a great looking result. I also work all times of the day and days of the week. I like to stay with my work than go hang out with friends. And that is the main reason I have shut down my social life. It's not needed.