Being Grateful

If you read my posts you will know all that is going on in my life but there is a great chance that you'll also not know the complete me. And it's my fault. I share only the perspective I see myself from. I overemphasize some aspects of my life and de-emphasize other aspects, often unintentionally. But I have a valid reason for it. I write daily for a very selfish purpose: to force myself to move on and make decisions I can without shame blog about. Writing helps me think more objectively about my life and make me more dedicated to sticking to good values.

The aim of my blogging is not to make an autobiography. That I end up sharing my life on my blog is a happenstance. I simply gave myself a goal to write daily. I didn't specify what kind of writing, but found out that the more I write the more it is about me.

I seldom take pictures. If you look through my phone, almost all the pictures you will see on it are pictures people borrowed my phone to take, and they are not even pictures of me. And it's even worse than that. I don't have an album. If you come to visit me and want to see an album showing my pictures from when I was little through my teenage years to now, I have nothing to show you. The best I can do is to login to my Facebook account and start searching for the pictures friends were kind enough to tag me in and the occasional pictures I took.

But if you ask me for my writings since I began writing 12 years ago, you can be sure of enough to keep you engaged for more than a day. They are my real photos. They reveal the me I have been most conscious of and they show my real progress through life. 

Whenever I want to know what I was like 10 years ago, I pick up the poems I wrote 10 years ago. Whenever I want a comprehensive report of my life in a particular year, I read through the articles I wrote that year. 

Writing is my own special way of preserving memories. I find it more accurate than photos and more useful too. But just like photos, it's always got a perspective. And since my writings are all selfies, they are greatly skewed. There will always be parts of my life that will consistently not be captured.

Yesterday, in church, I was thinking back and running through my life. I have a lot to be grateful for: the path I am on, the people in my life, the stability I enjoy and the amazing people who endure my daily self-centered ramblings.

image: etherealwellness.wordpress.com

Yes, I am grateful to you for every moment you get my mail. I do not underestimate the kindness hidden in your enduring my mails. It's one of the purest kind of love to let another be his true self. And I am very grateful to you for that.